Bare, naked I.

Here goes....tomorrow I will be 28 years young. I spent the past 13 years having children, screwing up my body in one way or another. Food, lack of movement, pregnancies, breastfeeding, stress....the list goes on. BTW, yes you read that right, I had my first child at the tender age of 15 and my last child 5 months ago...and 3 in between! 

Anyhow, in a distant library in my mind I have all the knowledge and know-how to lead a healthy lifestyle and have had my trials of yo-yo dieting and exercising. For one reason or another it hasn't stuck. It has caught up to me, in the form of 100 extra lbs! (you read that right, too).

With the help of pinterest, (may cause a snicker or two, but it's true), the new year, having a tubal ligation following my last birth and the misery that exists in my daily life due to a negative self image I have decided: It is time! For all the cliche reasons and a few personal ones....it is time. I need to be an active role model for my children, I want to LIVE, I don't want to be "the fat one", I want to inspire others and I want to be healthy! I want to walk into a clothing store and be able to try ANYTHING on knowing it will fit and look good! 

Maybe you asked yourself how the hell pinterest helped me come to this conclusion and I'll tell you: By providing a visualization of what and who I want to be and having all those little nifty motivational images and sayings. Rather than wake up and check FB I now get up and stalk my "health" pinterest boards and let me tell you there is nothing more motivating than seeing a sick ass body that you're envious of and that you know would make you cringe if your husband/boyfriend/lover saw that same image! 

My head is constantly spinning with different ideas and I swear I have some form of adult ADD...but realistically, and this is hard to say, hard to PUBLISH for you to see and definitely hard to swallow BUT these three words will help set me free, for it is the raw truth. Here goes:

I AM LAZY. 

Mentally, physically, in almost every aspect. There, I said it. And it looks as bad as it sounds. What's worse it FEELS worse than it sounds. I am lazy, I am lazy, I am lazy. I cannot count the number of times I have had a genius plan, a business idea, a crafty thought that could be of enormous joy to my children, etc. All the good intentions that fly out the window because of those three words! 


Now, three more words to eliminate those three disgusting words for life:

I AM DONE. 

Done being lazy, being the fat girl, the fat mom who sits on the bench and watches her kids play instead of playing with them, the fat wife, done with it all. Now. 


Here are my quick, naked, raw plans/goals that I will tweak as time goes on:

• Naked eating----cutting out processed bullshit (if it goes bad it's good for you, if it doesn't it's not....courtesy of one of those nifty little pinterest images ;))
• DAILY exercise. (no allotted time, maximum number...I refuse to be a slave to a countdown workout or time, it doesn't work for me. I will put 100% intensity and maximum effort into every movement I make regardless of reps/time etc)

• Daily positive affirmations. (You have been there, looking at the reflection in the mirror and pointing out every possible flaw and hating the person staring back at you...maybe you haven't, but I have. Too many times. DONE! I will seek the positive in that reflection, if I don't love me...who will?) 
• Keep up with this blog! (I need to be accountable to someone or something! And on days that I have a slip up or feel shitty I will be forthcoming and honest! No lies, nothing hidden...completely open and raw hence the blog name: barenakedi)

This is my beginning. I have 2 years left in my 20s, 5 kids to be a role model for for at least another 17 1/2 years, a husband who deserves me at my best and most importantly a healthy body and mind so that I can love myself in order to build, maintain and grow healthier relationships with those around me.